


Prologue

by Dhaskoi



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, supercat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 14:27:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14854506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dhaskoi/pseuds/Dhaskoi
Summary: There’s a reason Cat has secluded herself and Carter in a lodge that’s a couple of hours drive from the nearest trace of civilisation (and a good deal farther from any major population centre).The same reason she stepped down as White House Press Secretary four days ago.Because Kara is a selfish idiot who gave away her identity and now the whole world knows she’s Supergirl.The whole world also knows Cat Grant knew – and said nothing.





	Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [averita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/averita/gifts).



Cat called it a hut in her email.  Judging by the size there are at least three bedrooms, room for a couple of dozen guests – and an underground fibre optic line Kara sees as she habitually scans the building.  This must be one of the hideouts Cat has that even Kara didn’t know about.

She comes in smoothly, skimming over the snowy ground to land directly on the porch.  Cat is waiting for her in the doorway.  Kara’s not really surprised to see that she is beautifully put together, even here in self-imposed sort-of-exile.  One of the things Cat tried to teach her was the value of appearances, not out of vanity but as a tool and a shield.  Or a weapon.  Kara has been learning a lot about that recently.  Like a lot of things in her life understanding came too late to be helpful.

“Hello Kara.”

“Cat.”

“Come in.”

Kara follows Cat inside, feeling awkward.  There’s so much she wants to say, and she has no idea where to start.  Well, there’s one thing she knows she has to say, and wants to say.

“Cat, I’m sorry.”

No one sighs as evocatively as Cat Grant.

“I’m sure you are, Kara.  I’m sure you are.”

Kara’s not sure she’s ever heard Cat sound so defeated.  She’s seen this woman hurt.  She’s seen her sad.  Regretful.  Angry, scared and desperate.  She’s never seen her seemingly ready to give up.

She doesn’t know how to deal with that.

“Coffee?  Tea?  I have one of those pod machine things here - it even makes those terrible pumpkin spice latte things you like.”

"Coffee sounds, fine, I guess?”

The rote offer of hospitality is surreal. Are they really going to stand around sipping drinks and making small talk like nothing has happened?

“So,” Cat starts, when it becomes obvious that Kara is too tongue tied to continue, “what did you want to talk about?”

 Kara’s not sure Cat’s ever been this obtuse with her.  She deserves it.

“Cat, I am sorry.  I am so, so sorry, you have no idea.”

“You said that.  And I think I have some idea. Of how sorry you are.”

Kara cringes.  Cat probably does have some idea.  There’s a reason she’s secluded herself and Carter in a lodge that’s a couple of hours drive from the nearest trace of civilisation (and a good deal farther from any major population centre).

The same reason she stepped down as White House Press Secretary four days ago.

The same reason Winn, Alex and Eliza are holed up at the DEO and James is practically living in the office.

The same reason Clark is keeping his head down and dodging more than a few awkward questions.

Because Kara is a selfish idiot who gave away her identity and now the whole world knows she’s Supergirl.

The whole world also knows Cat Grant knew – and said nothing.

 

* * *

 

Cat hands her the cup in a silence that Kara can’t resist the urge to break.

“Your speech … it was a good speech.  You looked … good.”

Could she sew her lips shut if she used a kryptonite needle, Kara wonders?  ‘You looked good’, is that the best she can do?

Cat had been _amazing_.

She’d stood behind that podium for the last time and fearlessly declared that yes, she knew Supergirl was Kara Danvers, yes she’d always known and yes she’d made a conscious decision to keep the secret and she couldn’t honestly say she regretted it.

“ … The public’s right to know can never be an excuse for invasion of privacy. Neither is it a justification for recklessly tearing apart lives.  I have been accused of making the news rather than reporting it. My detractors would paint me as an unapologetic manipulator who was absolutely gleeful in her self-interested control of the narrative.  The reality is far less complex.  I wasn’t engaged in a grand conspiracy.  I wasn’t blithely manipulating the public consciousness to my own ends.  I was protecting my friend.  And I will never be sorry for doing that.”

Cat may have been addressing the nation, but in truth it had been a speech for an audience of one.  And for a moment those words had made Kara’s heart soar, until it came crashing back down as she remembered why Cat had to give that speech at all.

It stands in sharp contrast to Lena’s carefully worded denials and distancing of herself from both Kara and Supergirl.  No doubt Lena has a good reason for her diplomatic, not-quite-a-condemnation of Kara (she always has a good reason) but Kara can’t help comparing Lena’s self-interest to Cat’s unflinching honesty and loyalty.

“You mean when I resigned as press secretary and likely threw away any hope of a future in politics?” Cat asks, breaking into Kara’s moment of reflection.

“I was rather eloquent, wasn’t I?  Respect the public’s loss of faith, won’t distract from the administration, etc, etc.”

“I can’t believe Olivia made you -”

The interruption is sudden, sharp and absolute.

“She didn’t.  I tendered my resignation."  A pause.  "Olivia asked me to stay on but I couldn’t do that to her.  It’s one thing for her not to have known what I did.  Quite another for there to be any perception that she endorses my actions, retroactively or otherwise.  She can’t afford the distraction in an election year and I refuse to be the excuse republicans use to take pot shots at her integrity.  Ronnie’s young, but she’s competent.  She’s more than able to handle the Washington press corp.”

It’s actually soothing to hear Cat talking like this, sharp and clear and savvy. They could almost be back at CatCo as Cat lays out her strategy for shaping a particular story or imparts another lesson to an assistant that didn’t value those lessons as much as she should have.

Maybe if she had, her own career, the one she’d been so excited about a year ago, wouldn’t be in tatters.  Not that that’s Kara’s biggest concern right now, but it is one more thing she’s lost.  It’s one thing to keep a secret the way Cat did.  A different thing altogether to exploit that secret, which right or wrong is how Kara’s actions are being perceived.  But as much as that hurts, Cat’s loss cuts deeper somehow.  All the stories she’s broken, her extraordinary interviews and stirring editorials, are tarnished because Kara was lazy and thoughtless.  It’s one thing for Kara to pay the price for her screw up.  It’s another to see Cat paying such a high one simply for looking out for her.

 

* * *

 

“Carter will be sorry he missed you.”

Even if Kara couldn’t hear Carter’s heartbeat, steady while he sleeps, from where she’s standing, she’d know better than to think Carter was anywhere but here.

“How’s he handling it?”

Kara prays Carter isn’t too angry, that he doesn’t feel betrayed.

“He was upset at first,” Kara winces, “but we had a conversation about privacy and secrets and when it’s okay to keep them and when it isn’t.”

Cat’s voice warms.

“He came to the conclusion that some secrets are okay, if keeping them doesn’t affect anyone else.  Those are the kind of secrets that shouldn’t be anyone else’s business.  I think he expressed the concept more eloquently than I did. He’d like to see you, if you’re able.  I imagine you’re somewhat busy at the moment.”

“He’s not angry?”

“If anything, knowing that Supergirl plays Settlers of Catan and wears cardigans only makes you cooler in his eyes,” Cat tells her with a wry twist of her lips. Affection for her son, amusement at the vagaries of the teenage mind.

 

* * *

 

The whole conversation is calm, ordinary enough that Kara feels brave enough to ask the question she came here to ask.  The question Cat has presumably been expecting. She’s been kind enough to give Kara the time she needs to work up her nerve.  Admittedly, Cat has time to spare right now.

"Did you know?”

“Mmm?”

Cat barely answers.  Her sightless gaze has turned to a picture window that showcases the beautiful landscape.  Whatever internal vista she surveys, it would seem to hold more of her attention than Kara.

“Cat.  When you killed the story - all the times you killed the story,” Kara has to stop for a moment, overwhelmed again by the knowledge of how well and thoroughly Cat protected her without her ever knowing, “did … did you know that it could blow up in your face like this.”

“Oh Kara,” Cat sighs, tired, sad and, if Kara’s any judge, disappointed, “of course I knew.  A story this big and the queen of all media herself is helping to bury it?  That’s nearly as newsworthy as your story.  I know exactly what I’d be saying if the shoe were on the other foot.  If your cousin got caught out and Lois suddenly had to answer a million pointed questions about reporting on her own boyfriend without disclosing the relationship I would have dragged her over the coals without a moment’s hesitation.  At least, I would have before you arrived on the scene.“

Even now, the thought is enough to drag the faintest of smirks from Cat.

"It would be hypocritical to expect my peers or the public to go any easier on me.  Besides which, they’re not exactly wrong.  I did participate in a cover up.”

It’s more complicated than that, Kara knows.  Already there’s an upswell of support for Cat’s choice, a growing number of voices arguing that her decision to keep Kara’s secret was morally correct, a triumph of responsible journalism over sensationalism and profit driven clickbait.  She’s seen more than one commentator point out that Cat sacrificed money and fame alike for Kara’s sake, while talking heads have been fiercely debating whether the public’s right to know extends to personal information that can put lives in danger if released. Kara doesn’t see that there’s anything to debate, personally. 

Nonetheless, after three decades building a reputation based on a no compromises commitment to the truth, in both media and politics, Cat’s credibility and reputation have been wounded.  You can’t keep a secret this big and not lose some trust.

“I didn’t realise - I mean, I didn’t realise that if people ever found out it would cause trouble for you.  Like this.”

Kara regrets the words as soon as they’re spoken.  There’s no way to take them as anything other than selfish, because that’s exactly what they are.  She worried about her identity for herself.  She worried for Eliza and Alex and Clark, for James and Winn, for their safety, but for some reason it never occurred to her that it would mean trouble for Cat.  Cat was too … big.  Too much, too powerful, to be dragged down like that.  She worried about threats to life.  For some reason threats to reputation never crossed her mind.

“Of course you didn’t.”

Another sigh.

“We should have had this conversation long before now Kara, but after the way you panicked when I confronted you there never seemed a good time for it.  And honestly?  There was no way to bring it up that wouldn’t sound like emotional blackmail.  You didn’t need that.”

There’s another question that’s been preying on her mind.  Being here with Cat now, seeing her sad but not angry, Kara feels brave enough to ask

“Are you - are you disappointed in me?” she asks, hating the tremble in her voice.  Cat still isn’t looking at her as she answers.

“Yes.  I expected you to be smarter.  I expected you to be more responsible.  I thought you were aware of the consequences of being found out, for all of us.  Apparently not.”

The plain frankness of Cat’s answer is devastating.  Kara can almost feel her heart crack a little.

Kara fights to hold the tears in, tries to swallow down the thick feeling in her throat, but the hurt is just too great.  Tears come silently, and she shakes for trying to hold the sobs in.  It feels unfair, somehow, to inflict her misery on Cat when she’s come here to apologise for all the trouble her thoughtlessness has caused.

And then there is a small, firm hand on her back, stroking gently, drawing Kara toward its owner.  For a moment she resists.  Does she deserve this comfort?  She almost can’t bring herself to lean on Cat now, when the other woman has given so much to her already and paid such a high price for her loyalty to Kara.  But the draw of Cat’s arms is insistent and Kara has never been very good at denying Cat Grant anything, with one elephantine exception.  She lets herself be needy and clings to Cat.  Only for a minute, she tells herself.

“Oh Kara … ” Cat murmurs, clearly recognising how much her words have hurt, kindness heavy in her tone.  “If you want to know the truth, I had a bet on with myself about how long it would take you to score an ‘interview’ with Supergirl.”

That stings.  It’s one thing to know she let Cat down.  It’s another altogether to hear that she didn’t even expect better. Oh, she must have said that out loud, because Cat is answering.

“I expected you to be human – or Kryptonian, I suppose.  I expected you wouldn’t be perfect right away.  We all stumble sometimes Kara.  We never really stop doing that, even as we grow wiser.  It’s a trap every reporter falls into at some point, especially when they’re starting out and the pressure is on.  We cut corners, look for shortcuts … it’s just that you had an especially appealing shortcut right in front of you.  At your age, with the same temptation, I might not have done any better.  God knows your cousin did the same thing a few times when Perry was riding him especially hard.  I gather Lois peeled the paint right off the walls when she put it all together and realised what he’d done, if I’ve interpreted some of her more cryptic complaints correctly.“

Kara manages a forlorn little chuckle at that.

“She did, yeah.  Clark may have mentioned something about it after I published my first ‘interview’ with Supergirl.”

She pulls back with a sigh, but Cat doesn’t completely let go of her, hands resting on Kara’s arms.

“Maybe I was never meant to be a journalist at all. I don’t really feel like I deserve to be a writer.  Well, I can’t be, so I guess it doesn’t matter what I deserve.”

"Who says you can’t still be a writer?  The whole world would read anything you cared to put down in words, Kara.  I’d advise you not to waste that power.”

“They’d only want to read it because I’m, you know, me,” Kara mutters with a half-hearted gesture at the crest on her chest, hating how sulky she sounds and unable to fight it.  The crest of the House of El was never meant to be a symbol of celebrity.

“So?”

Kara looks up, shocked, hurt, but Cat is on a roll now.

“You have a platform, Kara.  You have power, of an entirely different sort from what you’re used to wielding.  Perhaps an even greater power than being bullet proof or having heat vision.  Are you going to complain about why people pay attention to you or are you going to use it?  If your words are worth reading people will notice, regardless of why they started.”

“I don’t want to write some kind of, of, celebrity blog. Kittens saved and the most wind resistant hairstyle for the superhero on the go.”

“Why would you write about that?” Cat asks, sounding genuinely perplexed and not a little irritated.

“Write about being a child adapting to earth, how hard it was, how scary.  Write about the fear of being discovered and what it’s like to live with that every day. Write about the way you felt the first time you saw a Cadmus broadcast.  Write about growing up on Krypton.  People know there are aliens on earth, Kara.  They know those aliens are refugees.  They know that they are hunted, that many of them live in fear. But they only know these things in the abstract.  You could put a,” the faintest pause before Cat keeps going, “personal face on that. And it’s a face with a lot of goodwill attached to it.  Even with everything that’s happening right now you are a beloved figure.  In some ways even more beloved now that people know you walk among us instead of always soaring over us.  If you spoke up, everyone would listen.  I said before, you changed the conversation.  You did that just by being yourself.  Now it’s time for you to direct it.  Are you up to the challenge, Kara?”

For a moment Kara’s too astonished by the sudden turn the conversation has taken to say – to even think – anything at all. The idea is so shocking it overwhelms her completely.  Up until now Kara has been focused on damage control, mourning what was lost and resigning herself to a life lived in cape and boots.  With a few snappy sentences Cat has completely upended her expectations and opened new vistas – again.  She doesn’t have to hide behind a pair of glasses if she wants to make a difference in the world that has nothing to do with her powers.  The realisation blooms in her that she can be Supergirl – Kara Danvers Zor-El – and be a hero and a writer and a crusader and an advocate all at once.  She can have a _life_.

This is what Cat does.  Challenge, demand, ask things of Kara that no-one else would. Plenty of people believe in her strength, even her courage.  Kara knows she is lucky to have friends who believe in her heart.  Cat believes in her agency.  Cat believes in her power to effect change and dares Kara to believe it too.

How much of this was always her plan, Kara wonders? From the very first Cat had built her up as a symbol of hope, carefully shaping perceptions and guiding public opinion. Kara might have chafed under the control Cat took of her story if the message of hope hadn’t been so well aligned with Kara’s own ideals.

“Did you plan this?”

The thought slips out and Kara braces herself for the explosion.  Except Cat smiles, instead.

“No, Kara.  How could I?”  She asks the question so calmly Kara feels a foolish for having asked.

“I planned _for_ this.”

Cat smiles at her and Kara smiles back, filled with hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by catelyngrant's excellent tumblr post: http://catelyngrant.tumblr.com/post/173660497910/catelyngrant-i-have-too-many-unfinished-fics


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